buoh

musim buah dengan buah memang tak dapat dipisahkan...bagai buah dengan musim buah...
sana buah sini buah...jalan sikit jumpa buah...kalih tepi nampak buah..gostan belakang langgar buah...takde buah cari buah..

satu-satunya kempen kerajaan yang berjaya kat Malaysia ni cuma kempen "Makanlah Buah-Buahan Terpakai"..kempen lain macam "Tak Nak, Sudah!", "Mari Membuta", "Belia Benci Kamu" dan lain-lain, jangan harap berjaya sebab kurangnya unsur buah dalam penggunaan bahasa...cuba letak kempen "Derma Darah Dapat Buah" atau "Pandu Cermat Buah Selamat", gerenti dapat sambutan...

aku pun heran apsal nak kena ada kempen pasal makan buah...tak payah kempen pun orang kita makan buah jugak...patutnya, buat la kempen "Kurangkan Ulat Dalam Buahan"...gejala ulat buah ni sukar dibendung dan semakin berleluasa...buah dah cantik dah, tapi ulat dalam buah lagi banyak dari lantai rumah aku a.k.a pusat pelupusan sisa pepejal mahupun cecair(cecair??)...

jadi, rakyat Malaysia sekarang sedang ternanti-nanti se-buah berita penting di dada-dada akhbar: "Pesawat Bos Pok Ya Di Rampas"...difahamkan, Pok Ya yang mempunyai sebuah dusun berpuaka di Kuala Berang akan dihantar ke kelab-kelab dangdut berpusat di KL selama 1-2 bulan pada musim buah terdekat...bermakna, upacara tahunan menghalau jin dan jembalang di dusun beliau akan terbantut...seorang warga Israel sedang dilatih untuk merampas pesawat terbabit..

//beghapa banyak buah daaa...

jilak cok buleh nyor

"rokok bbatang!"...amat kurang hajar nampaknya disitu..
Idan ceghelong muka budak tu..baju putih kuning mangkuk tandas, seluar hijau lumut karat dinding, lencana rabak 'tun telanai'...sah budak sek.men.tun telanai..kalau dulu masa zaman-zaman jahiliah baju gambar jin tanah seluar himpit peha rambut melambai-lambai, orang kampung dah boleh makan nasik putih lauk daging import air sirap cair kat kenduri arwah...

budak-budak sekarang makin kurang hajar...aku rasa sebab banyak sangat political correctness..sound sikit dah politically incorrect...cuit sikit dah kira penjenayah perang..pasal tu budak-budak sekarang makin berlemak..hormat kat orang-orang tua(macam Idan wahaha) dah tak ada...

remajas zaman dulu kala, nak cakap dengan orang lebih tua punyalah gemalai..
"abang berbadan sasa, boleh mintak rokok sebatang atau tidak..kedai ini tidak menjual rokok lah".. tengok?..ayat samseng Gerak-Gerak Khas..kan ke sejuk hati mendengar...
tapi sekarang tidak...semua stok-stok nak kena tuam satu dua...bak kata Kenny, along kg.dusun: bila keranda dibawa barulah bercucuran air dan mata...aku tak kira aku sesah juga...

sesuatu mesti dilakukan...daripada menghadkan 10 subjek untuk SPM, elok diberi balik hak-hak membuli junior...'suka-suka buli' lain dengan 'buli suka-suka'...suka-suka buli memang sadis...tapi buli suka-suka ada unsur sang kancil dengan buaya, buah cempedak dijolok pagar, alam & manusia dan sebagainya...kalau korang tak tau apa itu buli suka-suka mahupun alam & manusia, korang memang budak-budak manja zaman Proton Waja...keluaran alaf baru memang macam tu haha...

"doh nok wi ke dok ning?!!"..
kitorang sembang gelak-gelak macam budak tu tak wujud...budak tu blah...kitorang masih gelak-gelak macam budak tu tak wujud...lalat makin ramai...

2 jam kemudian, order sampai..Idan selak sikit rambut belah tepi dia..lengan baju kemeja ala Rabbani dilipat manja..patut la budak tu berani pau rokok Idan...tak ada ciri-ciri pengganas jalanan langsung sejak berbinikan ustazah...haha...

//selamat hari bapa untuk bapa-bapa yang semakin berketerampilan batik jawa..wahaha

beng sayu ngak deh

where were you on May 28, 2:45 in the morning?..
don't tell me you were sleeping..or with your wife, 'sleeping'...or all by yourself, 'doing something'...or anything other than watching Man Utd got pwned in the 'ssess :D...

attention all Mancs..gonna have to tell you this before you plan to pummel me after this :D..
we arrived ±2 mins late at a kedai, gotta picked a bad spot only to find out there were 99.99% of Mancs, even the waiters/waitresses, the cooks and the tokey i presumed haha(the other 0.01% were merely cats)..
immidiately we sensed bloods..
Pok Ya is a MU-hatter who had killed 58 Mancs and injured 3426 others unscathed..Mudi and Lang Dahi are cold-blooded, those Mancs would be maimed for sure..Joe Bbulu i ventured won't forget to carry his .45 Smith & Wesson SW1911 piece..and i couldn't pictured myself beating all those Mancs to their pulps in case they have the guts to ask me what am i doing in my liverpool shirt...
for the safety of all those sorry Manc chumps including 2 of our Manc friends(why oh why? haha) who tagged along, we decided to chalos and look for trouble at another kedai :D...
so plan again wahaha..

all Man Utd players were looking terribly crumpy that night...Xabi and Iniesta were firing on all cylinders and looked brilliant..Messi, although not in his usual position, was brilliant...Pep Guardiola was brilliant...Barca was awesomely awesome!!..loved the view when the Mancs were squelched in their seats through the match :D

words are never enough..
just how Man Utd was dorkified, in pictures:

/********************* i'm fat and i sure can jump higher ************************/


/******** Nemanja vidic, £7m...Gerard Pique, £50m...(Pique + leg) - Vidic = priceless ***********/


/**************** swallowing the defeat with mouth wide open *********************/



/************************* next time, i won't use this...i promise ******************************/


/*************************** when you lose, you squat ********************************/



/****** look closer..it's a ball..you don't eat ball..you need to kick the ball to win the match *******/


/************************* and this is how you kick a ball.. *******************************/

picture source: thesun.co.uk, guardian.co.uk

//it isn't funny anymore, right Fergie? :D