liverpool ning, boh

"kenapa ko sokong liverpool?...liverpool bukan power pun...mcManaman macam pr0n star" kata seorang mamat bermuka anak tenggiling sambil menempah keranda sendiri...tunggu masa nak kena tanam je tu...memandangkan zaman tu belum ada facebook, aku maki dia depan-depan...

penat memaki, baru la aku bagi sebab konkrit aku minat liverpool: "liverpool ada burung, baru la jantan namanya...kelab lain ada ke?" kataku sambil mencilok rakus selipar dari dorm lain lantas menuju ke kantin dengan selipar cilok baruku...satu merah, satu biru...

dulu-dulu, akupun tak pasti kenapa aku minat liverpool...tapi kalau nak kira, aku mula minat kat liverpool masa tingkatan satu...
aku tak layan EPL pun...zaman tu takde astro, selesema babi pun belum ada...yang ada time tu, Hiburan Minggu Ini dan juga Hulk Hogan...sekarang, HMI dah lingkup, Hulk Hogan je tak lingkup-lingkup lagi...jadi, masa zaman-zaman The Undertaker tengah jahat tu la aku kenal satu mamat bertattoo "punk not death" kat singlet dia...dia ada abang, cukup sifat-sifat seorang penggali kubur...abang dia minat liverpool...ada satu kali dia cakap: "liverpool kelab untuk working-class macam kita"...jadi, sebab aku secara dasarnya menyokong dasar-dasar jalanan masa tu, automatik aku termakan pujuk-rayu dia dan mula menyokong liverpool...

itu dulu, masa cikgu geografi aku tengah mantap...sekarang, masa zaman anak dia pulak yang mantap, aku lebih berfikiran sendiri...tapi, liverpool tetap menjadi pilihan...kenapa?...

salah satunya ialah Bill Shankly...
Shankly masuk liverpool masa liverpool tengah nazak...duduk dalam divisyen 2...hari pertama, dia kutip batu dekat Melwood...nak mandi lepas latihan, kena balik Anfield, sebab Melwood tak cukup air...dia yang memperkenalkan latihan-latihan yang menjadi ikutan manager-manager lain sampai sekarang...memperkenalkan jadual pemakanan...memperkenalkan corak permainan "pass and move"...dan banyak lagi...

bukan kerana dia pandai kutip batu ataupun kuat mandi...tapi selain daripada genius, istiqamah, cekal, sentul dan tak suka main farmville, aku respek dia sebab keperibadian beliau sendiri...working-class attitude aliran tengah memang tebal dalam diri dia...that's liverpool's way...

nama liverpool pulak cukup cantik...Arsenal, gay...Manchester United/City, too gay...Chelsea, girls' name...Aston Villa, geeky...Everton, simply hideous... Newcastle United, not man enough...Tottenham Hotspurs, that's not even a name...Liverpool, perfect!...
belum kira tagline lagi...sebut je YNWA, semua tahu hatta google sekalipun...cuba cari shorthand GGMU(edisi jeles bermaksud, Glory Glory Man Utd), tengok kena tazkirah panjang dengan google ke tidak...yang tak boleh blah, OABAAB(once a blues, always a blues)...tak ke firaun bunyinya tu...

corak permainan zaman sekarang pulak jangan cakap...memang superb...passing bola tak sampai...rembat macam perempuan...defend bagus...menggelecek tak lepas...cross ke laut...pendek kata, sangat superb untuk latihan mencarut...carut carut jugak, gelak tetap gelak...jangan emo tak tentu hala macam penyokong kelab lain...

senang cakap, liverpool memang memenuhi kriteria pasukan bola bagi aku...its fans, its atmosphere, its values...
takkan engkau berjalan sendirian...

crack the volume and enjoy this misleading song of liverpool anthem...misleading but still great...just like we're today...

SPOILER: »Offside - You'll Never Walk Alone« lyric

We walk through a storm
With head held up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

//liverpool dokleh menang?...doh bakpe dok bang? :D...

kih nyaknya (aka TMNET throttled down rapidshare download)

i was in the office working my ass out when suddenly my YM spat out another popup box onto my already full of YM-boxes desktop(disclaimer: i was working like hell...not fooling around :D)...and it went something like this:

jantan malang: buzz
jantan malang: woi ceper..rs mung kena virus, nnatang
betik bertuah: doh bakpe dok bang?
jantan malang: bang mung
betik bertuah: virus guana pulok?
jantan malang: slow nok mapuh...jok mmareng
betik bertuah: line mung aa tu...dok pon kih mung donlod blue...mahathir marah
jantan malang: kalu blue dakper...slow pon aku tebeng gok tunggu...nin aku donlod berita perdana...wat bbabi apa tunggu lama2
jantan malang: pah ceroh 5kb/s
betik bertuah: ke kih mung dok ingat tambat kambing..ssakuk gok tu
jantan malang: aku donlod guna megaupload nge mediafire ok je nin

jantan malang: dok pah kuaner pulok khakah nin..aku repih gok kaki ayang nin
betik bertuah: ada moksu mitok sign atah dahi sakni
jantan malang: tingga kijer mung tu..setel hok aku dulu..kalu x, aku pulok wi kaki celoh rusuk
betik bertuah: jap

jantan malang: mung klebek mende lama2..berat nanang
betik bertuah: jap aa ceper

betik bertuah: aku try donlod...bereh je nin boh
jantan malang: mung try donlod mende ning
jantan malang: [donlod link]
betik bertuah: bereh gok
jantan malang: @^!&!76%*8 [deleted for the high degree of profanities...a lot of it]
betik bertuah: aku try tengok dulu...waner2 aku ym mung
jantan malang: terbaek broooo
jantan malang: nasib baik aku bukang gay...kalu dok aku ambik doh mung wat jd laki
betik bertuah: mung jadi bapok mekap lawo2 pon aku tak mboh
[the rest of the conversation was about how to make a donkey fly...we concluded a donkey really can't fly...there's no flying donkey like the rumor goes *sigh*]

finished up my work chores, then it was the time to dust my brain off...jeez, haven't used it for a long time...
i ventured, it's gotta had something to do with TMNet throttling down their customers'(read victims') bandwidth when downloading from certain sites in order to keep their ass clean and maybe rapidshare had hit the jackpot...i'd asked him to use IP address instead of the usual domain address...after exchanged a hell lot of 'nnatang', 'brayok' and whatnot (he was really a dolt...can't help but to swear to get him through...haha), we managed to get the engine running on the full throttle...

apparently, our deary TMNet are throwing a nasty party in certain places...Sri Permasuri is one of them...
luckily, they were just playing with domain name filtering...so if you're one of the poor TMNet bandwith leechers, try this:

1) get the actual download link...(e.g: "http://rs127gc.rapidshare.com/files/123456789/fileToBeDownloaded.rar"...so its domain is "rs127gc.rapidshare.com")
2) now, go get its IP...you can ping its domain to determine its IP...or you could use any website that offers this kind of service (e.g: http://dig-nslookup.nmonitoring.com/dns-dig-nslookup.html)...
3) substitute the domain name with its IP...(e.g: so your new actual download link is: "http://64.215.245.128/files/123456789/fileToBeDownloaded.rar"
4) enjoy your download

but what if i wanted to batch my downloads, you asked...you really will be damned with tiresome chores of CTRL+C, CTRL+V, CTRL+f*****C, CTRL+f*****V...at the end of the day, you'll be running out of profanities...running out of wits, that's ok...but running out of profanities?...that's horrible with capital A!!..

pucker up and kiss this:
(things in mind: i've abandonned Orbit...and so have Aria2C...rapidshare hates them and would suspend your account if you were sharing your rapidshare account and having some downloads from multiple IPs...now i'm a IDM's slave..drats!)

1) i assumed you had setup your "site login" option in IDM and turned on the "Automatically start downloading of URLs placed to clipboard"
2) make a folder...name it whatever you want...start a notepad and copy this into it and save it to the folder as a batch file(with .bat extension): ====================================================================================
@echo off
setlocal EnableDelayedExpansion
set progFile=%ProgramFiles%
if not "[%ProgramFiles(x86)%]"=="[]" set progFile=%ProgramFiles(x86)%

if not exist export.txt (echo no exported download lists file&&goto :end)
start "" "%progFile%\Internet Download Manager\idman.exe"
for /f %%a in (export.txt) do call :getHostByName %%a

:startQ
set /p startDownload=Start the download queue? [Y^|N]:

if "%startDownload%"=="N" goto :end
if "%startDownload%"=="n" goto :end
if "%startDownload%"=="Y" goto :beginDownload
if "%startDownload%"=="y" goto :beginDownload
echo Invalid input
goto :startQ

:beginDownload
"%progFile%\Internet Download Manager\idman.exe" /s
echo ...done...
echo.
:end
pause
goto :eof

:getHostByName
set url=%1

for /f "tokens=2 delims=/" %%p in ('echo %url%') do set hostname=%%p
for /f "tokens=2 delims=@" %%q in ('echo %hostname%') do if %%q neq 0 set hostname=%%q
for /f "tokens=4 delims=: " %%r in ('ping -n 1 %hostname%^|find /i "Statistics"') do set url=!url:%hostname%=%%r!

"%progFile%\Internet Download Manager\idman.exe" /a /d !url!
goto :eof
===================================================================================
if you were lazy(doh! who's not?), the download link for the batch file is at the bottom of this entry

3) copy your links of download and your IDM will initiate your batch download automatically...put them in your "main download" queue but don't start the download yet...
4) export your download as a text file to the folder that contains the batch file...name it "export.txt"
i.e: Tasks>>Export>>To text file and select "Export Download Queue"
5) delete the download list in the IDM that you'd exported
6) double-click the batch file...when the whole download list were pumped in into the IDM, the batch file will ask whether you want to start the download...choose "no" to download later...or "yes" to start it immediately
7) done...you can delete the exported text file of download list if you want...

so that's it: copy download links, export, delete, run batch file, enjoy...

it'll be simpler had anyone generous enough to make a php file for this and host it on his website...i bet it's gonna be just 2-steps task...paste, click and copy...is that 3 steps?..nevermind...

don't ask me for that one..i'm a cheap bastard who are not willing to pay to any web-hosting provider to host my shikes...haha
besides, i'm not a php monkey...i'm a monkey poacher...arrrg!!

and here comes the junk...i know that...just suck on it :D...

url: http://www.fileden.com/files/2009/10/9/2596926/useIP4DL.rar
p/w: plpohbetik
size: 2kb

//P1 Wimax?...unlimited package mahal per cih...ohoho

mahal ger bedil

semakin ramai sayang Mahathir...sapa tak sayang Mahathir?..Mahsuri sayang sebab Langkawi makin maju...Anwar sayang sebab ada isu nak bukak parti baru...indon dan bangla sayang sebab ada KLCC boleh lepak time cuti Tahun Baru...pendek kata, semua sayang Mahathir walaupun taknak mengaku...tak gitu, Labu?

sekarang ni, ada lagi 1 golongan kasta rendah makin sayang sama Mahathir...rokok zaman Mahathir mana pernah naik harga menggila macam sekarang...sekarang, harga dadah pun lagi stabil dari rokok...Pak Lah ambil alih, belanjawan pertama, dia bantai rokok naik RM1.10..naik lagi RM0.60..lagi dan lagi...sampai pernah naik harga 3 kali dalam setahun...ini macam, elok wasiatkan rokok kat anak cucu...

at this rate lagi 20 tahun, rokok sekotak lagi mahal dari harga tanah bandar sepetak...beli tanah pakai rokok je...tak mustahil kes ragut rokok meningkat, tokey rokok diculik, perokok dikasari, tenggiling dikhianati dan macam-macam lagi...kereta kebal orang buat angkut rokok, kasi selamat...kekayaan dinilai dari berapa batang rokok korang ada...silap-silap, hantaran kahwin pun orang susun rokok buat jadi Eiffel Tower letak dalam dulang cantik-cantik...malam pertama si isteri terkulat-kulat tunggu sang suami habiskan rokok dalam dulang...heaven beb isap rokok dulang...

"elok la mahal, boleh la berenti"...hangguk ko...
harga tidak memainkan peranan bila sebut bab rokok, boss...jangan terpengaruh propaganda politik yang cuba mengaut duit lebih, bukan nak mengurangkan tabiat merokok...perokok tetap bertambah...bila mahal, tapi demand tinggi apa jadi?...kes seludup meningkat...bila seludup meningkat, confirm kes rasuah merata-rata...belum kira kes kemalangan jalanraya naik berganda...nikotin yang banyak penting untuk drive malam-malam terutama bila semua dah jadi tukun, tidur tak ingat drebar...takkan nak tampar muka sambil pulas stereng...jangan sampai cari along nak beli rokok sudah...kang banyak pulak rakyat Malaysia hilang kaki tergadai bini...

"merokok tak elok untuk....."
huh..yang ni nak kena bukak kitab kebudayaan...
cuba tengok excerpt dari sini:

The conclusion is that men and women are both social but in different ways. Women specialize in the narrow sphere of intimate relationships. Men specialize in the larger group.

apa erti semua itu, wahai samseng-samsengku?..untuk lelaki mencapai potensi tersebut, rokok memainkan peranan...statistik dari Jabatan Rumah Urut, lelaki merokok lebih ramai kawan daripada lelaki anti-rokok...kenapa lelaki kena ramai kawan berbanding perempuan?...korang baca la sendiri kajian dari laman-bersawang tu...

dan harga rokok yang stabil juga elok untuk pasaran suratkhabar...setiap kali harga rokok naik 20 sen, penjualan akhbar-akhbar berbahasa Melayu di seluruh negara akan jatuh 10,000 naskhah...kali ni naik 30sen, jadi kurang lagi 15,00...wartawan nak mentekedarah apa?...itu yang wartawan semua nak pakai macam Juwie join majalah Mangga tu...Mangga lagi popular sebab orang tak merokok ramai beli...rosak betul budak-budak sekarang ni asyik mengadap gosip 24jam...isap rokok lagi bagus...dapat jugak skill buat bulatan...

tiba-tiba aku rasa lagu Suspect Device dari Stiff Little Fingers sesuai dengan kecibaian harga rokok dewasa ini...mari gelek sama-sama...

SPOILER: »Stiff Little Fingers - Suspect Device« lyric

Inflammable material is planted in my head
It's a suspect device that's left 2000 dead
Their solutions are our problems
They put up the wall
On each side time and prime us
And make sure we get fuck all
They play their games of power
They mark and cut the pack
They deal us to the bottom
But what do they put back?

Chorus:
Don't believe them
Don't believe them
Don't be bitten twice
You gotta suss, suss, suss, suss, suss out
Suss suspect device

They take away our freedom
In the name of liberty
Why don't they all just clear off
Why won't they let us be
They make us feel indebted
For saving us from hell
And then they put us through it
It's time the bastards fell

[Chorus]

Don't believe them
Don't believe them
Question everything you're told
Just take a look around you
At the bitterness and spite
Why can't we take over and try to put it right

Don't believe us
Don't believe us
Don't be bitten twice
You gotta suss, suss, suss, suss, suspect device

We're a suspect device if we do what we're told
But a suspect device can score an own goal
I'm a suspect device the army can't defuse
You're a suspect device they know they can't refuse

We're gonna blow up in their face

//apsal aku rasa entry kali ni dah jadi macam bapok Jawa tak dapat customer...membebel tak tentu hala...wahaha

tua gheter raya mende

aku rasa macam nak buat pesta tolak bala sebab banyak benda pelik hari ni...

biasa aku bangun tidur, aku terus nyanyi lagu Negararaku...kali ni aku nyanyi lagu Indonesia Raya...apahal?..

dan kebiasaannya, masa aku nak pergi tandas aku akan terajang sekor askar jerman separa bogel tengah tekan tubi kat tepi dapur, tapi tadi tengah sapu lantai...askar jerman sapu lantai, tak pelik ke tu?...lain la kalau tengah tanam mayat..aku nak terajang pun dah naik segan...jadi aku buat keputusan pergi tangkap lipas sebagai kerja amal...untuk pengetahuan, kerja tangkap lipas pagi-pagi buta bukan senang...

taknak fikir bukan-bukan, aku teruskan hidup walaupun tak cukup nikotin...sampai ofis, assignment pertama aku ialah mendownload cerita Memento...nampak macam tak pelik kan?...tapi masalahnya aku ialah pekerja berwawasan...nak tak nak, aku terpaksa tidur selama 1 jam untuk mengurangkan rasa bersalah...

rutin harian bulan puasa ialah berbuka puasa(waktu belakang kira :D)...apa yang aneh dengan berbuka puasa hari ni?...sejenis mahkluk yang biasa dikenali sebagai housemate hari ni dah jadi housemaid...dia SMS dia nak bantai masak nasik goreng + ayamas goreng + air sunquick...memang terharu...dan lagi aneh bila semua-semua tu sedap la pulak...tapi kitorang terpaksa tong-tong tempah keranda selepas housemaid terbabit cedera dibahagian rusuk akibat dihentak dengan objek berat bila diketahui semua makanan tersebut adalah ehsan dari awek beliau...

nak lagi pelik?...entry kali ni dah melanggar prinsip asas...no blogodiary...
tengah berkira-kira nak pacak lilin keliling rumah buang sial, aku baru teringat pesan orang tua-tua...kalau banyak benda pelik berlaku, maknanya raya dah nak dekat...

jadi aku sebagai penyimpan mohor besar raja-raja, dengan ini mengisytiharkan, selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir batin...anak bulan dalam proses pembikinan oleh mak dan bapak bulan...harap bersabar...puasa didahulukan, raya diutamakan...

//pedia2 rasa dok cukok posa, mari a dumoh...aku nok wi tazkiroh...wahaha

wal-fuasa

bulan puasa macam ni, ramai yang tak tentu hala...mungkin sebab tak boleh lepak minum macam biasa, kandungan gula dalam darah pun dah kurang, jadi banyak yang merepek tanya bukan-bukan...

"mung poser dok arining?"...ada ke tanya soalan macam tu kat bakal wali macam aku?...
"ning lemang mung ke ning?"...dah sah-sah aku puasa, mesti la bukan aku punya...walaupun ada kat meja aku...

dan banyak lagi soalan-soalan yang budak kecik pun boleh bunuh diri kalau dengar...
"aku nok tanya ning...bakpe matahari dok turung masa zohor takdi?"...
"kalu aku beli air tebu, mung rasa buleh straw lebih dok?"...
"liverpool kaloh, mung posa dok?"...

bagi menampakkan ketidakbengapan dan ketajaman otak aku berbanding makhluk-makhluk tak cukup darah tu walaupun aku sedang berpuasa, diulangi: sedang berpuasa, nak ulang lagi ke?: ehem! sedang berpuasa, aku bagi contoh soalan yang masuk akal sikit...takde la orang nampak macam bunting padi sangat...akupun tak tau apsal bunting padi tu ada kat situ sebenarnya tapi anggap je la macam carutan berkuasa-rendah...lembut ditelinga, lagi lembut kalau tak sebut...

soalan-soalannya:

kenapa asal bulan puasa je, mesti ada banyak rancangan ajar orang masak...
a) bulan puasa juga dikenali sebagai bulan memasak
b) tukang masak takde kerja siang ari...ajar orang pun jadi
c) sengaja nak bagi korang terliur..
d) waktu sesuai untuk orang2 lembap belajar memasak...semua dah lapar, takdenya orang nak kisah pasal rasa..

kedengaran azan berkumandang...kenapa Samat tidak berbuka lagi?
a) dia kat bazar ramadhan tengah asyik mengorat janda ayam percik
b) dia tengah tidur macam dia sorang je yang puasa
c) dia dalam tandas berkat keracunan megi dia sebat tengahari tadi
d) dia tunggu azan maghrib...azan asar mana bole buka lagi

kenapa Yusuf Tayyub bisik-bisik masa jual kurma?
a) kurma dia jual kurma seludup
b) tak larat nak jerit-jerit sebab tengah berpuasa
c) bini dia tengah cari...duit tiket balik raya dia pergi buat modal jual kurma..
d) bisik-bisik la seksi...jeles la tu

kagum tak aku masih boleh berfikiran matang dibulan fuasa?...haha

//pesanan gabenor negara: elok korang pikir nak abihkan puasa dulu baru pikir macam mana nak abihkan duit untuk beraya...haha

"gok pahtu"

those were the days when i despised anything that had mainstream's scent-mark all over and revered everything that came from 'under the ground'...the days where fanzines were abundant that had somewhat inspired many teenagers like me...the days when me and others were trying hard to give something back to the scene...the days when we enjoyed living on the fast lane shouting "punk not death"...

then came a simple guy with strong character who had put me where i stand today...
this is a tribute(edit: couldn't find 'the cassette'...zzz)....in memory...


to Miji(1974-2009)...al-Fatihah...

//"always share, always dare"
edit: forgot to put the nostalgic advert as a remembrance to him..."oh! kau nyamuk"...

bbolok-wok doh ning

pagi masih awal sangat tapi nasik minyak dah habis...tinggal karipap kecut dengan kuah nasik dagang je...pagi-pagi dah kena order maggi goreng kosong...kalau bakal-bakal mak dan bapak mertua nampak mesti dah kena blacklist...ado den kesah?...

"maggi makanan berjenama jugak, makcik...selalu masuk tv"...harap-harap alasan ni cukup kukuh bagi mereka...
"budak-budak U pun makan maggi...itu sebab semua cerdik-cerdik"...kalau alasan bijak macam ni pun tak jalan, memang mereka tak peka dengan isu semasa...tak layak jadi mertua...haha

kecekapan mengunyah terganggu dengan ketibaan penasihat dan pengulas sukan reject...selesai majlis menyambung meja dan meng-order air beramai-ramai, sesi mencarut dimulakan dengan aman sebelum bertukar garang sambil membakar rokok tanda protes...sampaikan kucikng-kucing pun naik takut nak pau tulang ikan...cuma mampu mengiau dari jauh mengutuk kadar carutan yang menggerunkan...

makcik kedai mula angkat kening...anak makcik kedai nekad hantar order main campak je...penganalisis politik makin lantang merepek tak mau mengalah...yang perempuan rasa tergugat sambil setia bergosip...ada jugak buat-buat tak endah...tapi semua itu bukan halangan...masuk lokap 5 tahun kerja berat pun masuklah...janji dapat maki prestasi kelab bola sepak lawan...bilalah agaknya objek-objek berbahaya ni nak bertaubat...haha

ya betul...suasana sebegitu semakin dekat...debaran makin hangat...semua pemecah-rumah tegar sudah tukar jadual kerja bergantung kepada jadual perlawanan bola...isteri-isteri dah cari air penerang hati untuk suami-suami yang selalu kena rasuk tengok bola...hatta ayam pun dah pandai demand reban kalis bunyi...korang dah bersedia?

//Liverpool dah lantik bomoh rasmi dari suku-kaum kampung Pok Ya...kelab-kelab jahiliah macam MU, Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City kompom kena santau...wahaha