buoh

musim buah dengan buah memang tak dapat dipisahkan...bagai buah dengan musim buah...
sana buah sini buah...jalan sikit jumpa buah...kalih tepi nampak buah..gostan belakang langgar buah...takde buah cari buah..

satu-satunya kempen kerajaan yang berjaya kat Malaysia ni cuma kempen "Makanlah Buah-Buahan Terpakai"..kempen lain macam "Tak Nak, Sudah!", "Mari Membuta", "Belia Benci Kamu" dan lain-lain, jangan harap berjaya sebab kurangnya unsur buah dalam penggunaan bahasa...cuba letak kempen "Derma Darah Dapat Buah" atau "Pandu Cermat Buah Selamat", gerenti dapat sambutan...

aku pun heran apsal nak kena ada kempen pasal makan buah...tak payah kempen pun orang kita makan buah jugak...patutnya, buat la kempen "Kurangkan Ulat Dalam Buahan"...gejala ulat buah ni sukar dibendung dan semakin berleluasa...buah dah cantik dah, tapi ulat dalam buah lagi banyak dari lantai rumah aku a.k.a pusat pelupusan sisa pepejal mahupun cecair(cecair??)...

jadi, rakyat Malaysia sekarang sedang ternanti-nanti se-buah berita penting di dada-dada akhbar: "Pesawat Bos Pok Ya Di Rampas"...difahamkan, Pok Ya yang mempunyai sebuah dusun berpuaka di Kuala Berang akan dihantar ke kelab-kelab dangdut berpusat di KL selama 1-2 bulan pada musim buah terdekat...bermakna, upacara tahunan menghalau jin dan jembalang di dusun beliau akan terbantut...seorang warga Israel sedang dilatih untuk merampas pesawat terbabit..

//beghapa banyak buah daaa...

jilak cok buleh nyor

"rokok bbatang!"...amat kurang hajar nampaknya disitu..
Idan ceghelong muka budak tu..baju putih kuning mangkuk tandas, seluar hijau lumut karat dinding, lencana rabak 'tun telanai'...sah budak sek.men.tun telanai..kalau dulu masa zaman-zaman jahiliah baju gambar jin tanah seluar himpit peha rambut melambai-lambai, orang kampung dah boleh makan nasik putih lauk daging import air sirap cair kat kenduri arwah...

budak-budak sekarang makin kurang hajar...aku rasa sebab banyak sangat political correctness..sound sikit dah politically incorrect...cuit sikit dah kira penjenayah perang..pasal tu budak-budak sekarang makin berlemak..hormat kat orang-orang tua(macam Idan wahaha) dah tak ada...

remajas zaman dulu kala, nak cakap dengan orang lebih tua punyalah gemalai..
"abang berbadan sasa, boleh mintak rokok sebatang atau tidak..kedai ini tidak menjual rokok lah".. tengok?..ayat samseng Gerak-Gerak Khas..kan ke sejuk hati mendengar...
tapi sekarang tidak...semua stok-stok nak kena tuam satu dua...bak kata Kenny, along kg.dusun: bila keranda dibawa barulah bercucuran air dan mata...aku tak kira aku sesah juga...

sesuatu mesti dilakukan...daripada menghadkan 10 subjek untuk SPM, elok diberi balik hak-hak membuli junior...'suka-suka buli' lain dengan 'buli suka-suka'...suka-suka buli memang sadis...tapi buli suka-suka ada unsur sang kancil dengan buaya, buah cempedak dijolok pagar, alam & manusia dan sebagainya...kalau korang tak tau apa itu buli suka-suka mahupun alam & manusia, korang memang budak-budak manja zaman Proton Waja...keluaran alaf baru memang macam tu haha...

"doh nok wi ke dok ning?!!"..
kitorang sembang gelak-gelak macam budak tu tak wujud...budak tu blah...kitorang masih gelak-gelak macam budak tu tak wujud...lalat makin ramai...

2 jam kemudian, order sampai..Idan selak sikit rambut belah tepi dia..lengan baju kemeja ala Rabbani dilipat manja..patut la budak tu berani pau rokok Idan...tak ada ciri-ciri pengganas jalanan langsung sejak berbinikan ustazah...haha...

//selamat hari bapa untuk bapa-bapa yang semakin berketerampilan batik jawa..wahaha

beng sayu ngak deh

where were you on May 28, 2:45 in the morning?..
don't tell me you were sleeping..or with your wife, 'sleeping'...or all by yourself, 'doing something'...or anything other than watching Man Utd got pwned in the 'ssess :D...

attention all Mancs..gonna have to tell you this before you plan to pummel me after this :D..
we arrived ±2 mins late at a kedai, gotta picked a bad spot only to find out there were 99.99% of Mancs, even the waiters/waitresses, the cooks and the tokey i presumed haha(the other 0.01% were merely cats)..
immidiately we sensed bloods..
Pok Ya is a MU-hatter who had killed 58 Mancs and injured 3426 others unscathed..Mudi and Lang Dahi are cold-blooded, those Mancs would be maimed for sure..Joe Bbulu i ventured won't forget to carry his .45 Smith & Wesson SW1911 piece..and i couldn't pictured myself beating all those Mancs to their pulps in case they have the guts to ask me what am i doing in my liverpool shirt...
for the safety of all those sorry Manc chumps including 2 of our Manc friends(why oh why? haha) who tagged along, we decided to chalos and look for trouble at another kedai :D...
so plan again wahaha..

all Man Utd players were looking terribly crumpy that night...Xabi and Iniesta were firing on all cylinders and looked brilliant..Messi, although not in his usual position, was brilliant...Pep Guardiola was brilliant...Barca was awesomely awesome!!..loved the view when the Mancs were squelched in their seats through the match :D

words are never enough..
just how Man Utd was dorkified, in pictures:

/********************* i'm fat and i sure can jump higher ************************/


/******** Nemanja vidic, £7m...Gerard Pique, £50m...(Pique + leg) - Vidic = priceless ***********/


/**************** swallowing the defeat with mouth wide open *********************/



/************************* next time, i won't use this...i promise ******************************/


/*************************** when you lose, you squat ********************************/



/****** look closer..it's a ball..you don't eat ball..you need to kick the ball to win the match *******/


/************************* and this is how you kick a ball.. *******************************/

picture source: thesun.co.uk, guardian.co.uk

//it isn't funny anymore, right Fergie? :D

Rapidshare Premium cookie (ssekuk)

this is not the ordinary stolen cookie tragedy where you woke up in the morning with sunshine on your face and wobbled to your favourite morning-spot only to find out your cookie jar was empty or better yet, your cookie jar was mysteriously missing altogether so you casted yourself to the corner of your room head between your toes feeling dejected...cheer up! they're just cookies anyway :D

if you're a rapidshare premium user and having "direct download" option enabled, listen here intensely...your cookie is not safe...it could be stolen...
how could it be stolen?...it's for another story...
so what's the big deal getting your cookie stolen?...rapidshare cookie is lame...it has the following format

user=xxxxx-yyyyyyy
xxxxx = your account ID number
yyyyyy = password in url-encoded format...

once it's stolen, your privacy is compromised...they could learn your password or utilize the cookie to get premium account priviledges...

unbelievable?..believe it...that's what happended to my account last week...no, it's not because of phishing sites...it's the cookie...i can swear on that...i don't mind if they used my cookie actually...but they used up all my bandwidth!...filthy dang thieves haha

so we have a few options to overcome this...

1) import/export cookie:
i use Orbit Downloader, the best downloader on the market..having tried other downloaders(flashget, DAP, IDM, etc), with lame Streamyx at my disposal, getting broken files is not a surprise...but with Orbit Downloader, i'd be scared to death if there's a broken file wahaha...

so here are the steps:
- clear all the cookies/cache of IE using all means you could find (e.g: CCleaner)
- login to your rapishare account to get the cookie set
- export your cookie (on IE goto File >> Import/Export >> export cookies)...save it as cookie.txt
- logout your rapidshare account
- open the cookie.txt and delete other cookies except this line:

rapidshare.com TRUE / FALSE 123456789 user xxxxx-yyyyyyyyyy

- then save it

so when you wanna download something from rapidshare:
- make sure "Clipboard Monitoring" option is enabled on your Orbit Downloader..
- browse to the site containing the dowload URLs using your favourite browser...
- copy all the URLs...the Orbit will pop up waiting for your action...
- open the IE, import the cookie (File >> Import/Export >> Import Cookies)...
- start the download...
- when the Orbit has initiated the downloads, you could now delete the cookie by inserting this URL to your IE browser...

https://ssl.rapidshare.com/cgi-bin/premium.cgi?logout=1 <--- for rapishare.com acc
http://rapidshare.de/cgi-bin/premium.cgi?logout=1 <---- for rapishare.de acc

it would display "The Cookie has been deleted."..and yes, your imported cookie has been deleted...you could bookmark the URL if you want...

- everytime you wanna download, import the RS cookie, initiate download and delete the cookie...

but it has some major drawbacks...
say you download 20 files on one go...the files with "waiting" status on the Orbit can't be downloaded after you deleted the cookie...you're gonna have to wait until the last file had been initiated before you could delete the cookie...
or you let your friends use your account and they forgot to delete the cookie...
or you yourself forgot to delete the cookie :D...

so Aria2 CLI downloader comes to the rescue...

2) Aria2 with "Direct Download" option disabled
with "Direct Download" option disabled at your rapidshare account, no cookie will be set/used...and Orbit Downloader can't work well in this scenario...even if you used "Login to Server" option...and you can't use your exported cookie for batch download in Orbit..

but Aria2 can la boss...
pstt...with the same file, 160kbps for Orbit but 200kbps using Aria2 on my flimsy 1Mbps Streamyx...isn't it amazing? :D...promo aside, first, you should get your hands dirty before you could enjoy this awesome downloader...and oh! it's portable..you could resume your downloads anywhere...

because it's command-line downloader, meaning, there's no GUI, don't let it scare you away...even if you're an acute Windozer wahaha...
read and learn...usually, you wanna use it like this:

aria2c --http-user=RSUSERNAME --hhtp-passwd=RSPASSWORD -i url.txt -s10 -j4 --dir=D:\My Download

and there's a GUI for Aria2...(but you should alter it a bit to use http-user and http-passwd option because there's a small mistake in its c0ding...find all "password" instances and replace them with "passwd" instead)...

but i don't like the GUI as it will freeze there on your desktop on top of other windows while you're downloading files...or you're a Firefox die hard fan armed with Flashgot, with "direct download" disabled, it doesn't seem to work well with Aria2 on Windows...

so with the help of suitable amount of niccotines in my bloodstream, i made this lame batch file for my rapidshare need...it has batch download, single download, resume download (even for different download folder) and other basic shikes.. why not using C++ or something for GUI for this Aria2 you may asked...being busy and all that, i think this batch file will live a long life :D...besides, i love CLI :D...

so here's the batch file if you wanna give it a try...tested on Windows XP and Vista...you should 'configure' it in setting.txt file....no warranty, no help file, ask here if you got problems or just ditch it into your recycle bin :D...

http://rapidshare.com/files/246339251/aria2rapidshare.rar
p/w: plpohbetik
size: 3kb

//great! now where's my groundnut cookies...haha

gelekek

Malaysia, the land of many lands..
ready, steady, go!...land below the wind...land of the white elephant..land of the hornbills...
pit stop, go!..land of Che Siti Wan Kembang..land of nine states...land of grace...
cruise on!...land of dreams..land of the jokers...
ok stop! what was the last one?...land of jokers??...who the hell are you talking nonsense playing the smart-arse here?...

ok kids, let me insult your intelligent...
have you ever heard of singgang?...nope?...owh! that's ok...
Tok Imam Lapar, ring a bell?..nah! i bet you have no idea...
how about ghudung-ghadang?...don't sweat...i know it's a tough one...
hmm..this is going nowhere...here's what's what...land of the jokers == Terengganu...or Teghanung in Terengganuspeak..surprised?

lemme explain...sit tight, put on your helmet and buckle up...it's for your mind's safety...you really don't wanna lose it :D..

if you travelled accross Teghanung, you could see many smiling faces all over the place if not laughing out loud...
at kedai kopi, wet-markets, on the staircases(yup! we despise escalators up until recently :D)...
men, women, she-males(who said there're only 2 genders wandering around Teghanung? :D)...
fishermen, dentists, bank-robbers, taxi pullers(you called it tri-shaw, we named it taxi...in your face, strangers :D)...
huh! you should get the idea by now...we're the bunch of happy people for a good reason...jokes..

the legend has it, orang Teghanung are the direct decendents of the greatest ancient quipsters...we're born to laugh and make jokes...it's in our blood...do you really think we chosed a clownfish as the SUKMA 2008 mascot for nothing?...think again...haha

we've got a building with a hell lot of sense of humour right here at the very heart of Kuala Terengganu too!..ask any Trengganese about a legendary building called KT Mall and ask how many years it took to build that monument..10 bloody years!!...we had managed to salvage the ancient art of pyramid making from the tomb of King Tut ibni an-Khamen, applied its theory of Snail Speed Construction and named the buiding after him...we proudly present you *drum rolls* the King Tut Mall (KT Mall)...
ok! that isn't funny at all for non-Teghanung folks...but hey, we could pull every jokes out of that buidling...the name, the look, the location, how many workers to construct KT Mall, the area with respect to the time taken to build it...just name it..KT Mall, the only building which could tell jokes...hah!

and we're the only creeping creatures with flippers who could play football...note that it's FOOTball and we've got flippers!!...because of the speed constraint, we're the master of peteh...can you imagine, 11 sea turtles all dressed up in football attire flapping the ball around crawling all over the pitch tackling anything that's moving?...isn't it hillarious?...heh! we really live by the line "football is fun"...

but being a joker isn't always a pleasant path...everybody tend to expect you to joke around, perpetually making fool out of yourselves...so when you tired of it and you wanna call it a day, they will pull a joke on you hoping for more mirths...that's what federal government did!...
"here's your choo-choo train...not!"...so Trengganese, always in happy spirits, laughed...
"we're thinking of constructing a railroad network in Terengganu...not!"...again, we laughed at the grim joke...
but the thing is, it isn't funny anymore after 52 years getting the same 'ol joke...

so there you go...
did i mentioned we're also known as "the land of surprises"?...

maybe i sounded like i was making a gibe about my own beloved state..nay! i was merely looking to the other side of the coin, save that i flipped the coin far too hard it fell a mile away from making any sense...wahaha

//Teghanung identity is on the wane...that's kind of what i'm getting at

bahang rambang

"i do hate blogs!"..that's the typical side of me when it comes to blogosphere..so yeah, wtf am i blogging right now?..

first things first..."why?"..

huh! don't ask me...ask 'them'..people around me keep blog-hoping all the way from hell lot of mooshy-mooshy stuffs to gossips yadda-yadda even to the extend of hear-me-i-was-eating-shit-last-night type of blogs..drats! i hate you guys..wahaha..

alrighty then, i do NOT hate them...in fact, i won't even bother to know what blogs' inputs they're pumping into their brain cells..but when people ask me to jump on their bandwagon of blogs circle and i'd say hell no, i would be damned..all of the sudden I'd be a blogs basher for them...this begs the question...why?..ah ok, so i was too straight-out expressing my disgust towards shitty blogs :D..shitty as i see it of course :D...

what did Semek(not real name) ate last night? - how should i care?..
an artist ex-wife married to a singer ex-husband - uhuh..right whatever..now scram..i don't wanna know..
hey! Mahathir is Maha-Firaun according to that blog - so they just said it that way and it should be that way?..i pass..
did you read? a cow is winning for the queen of { insert reality show } - great! can i milk it?
wanna download yahoo-stalker tools? go here - whoa! that's neat..but then, i don't give a damn..really, just piss off..
i found a nice piece of c0de on how to bla bla - where? share me its url..
Semek(not real name) had an accident! - arghh! not this again...

see? i'm into blogs as well..not just any blog...a real deal of blogs if i'm entitled to put it that way...
so why the answer?..heh! over-generalized questions would get over-generalized answers if you'd asked me :D...
tonnes of thoughtful blogs and i'll go an extra thousand miles craving for more..but please don't feed me with stinky bloody blogs as i have every axe to grind with those..wahaha

having said all that, expect no political conundrums(enter vermin), my slice of life(you don't wanna know), gossips(have better things to do), useless downloads(junk == junks), anybody slice of life(get a life) and melancholic git's gists(romeo & juliet, what a made-up hoax) here..
if you happened to seek those sort of 'thang' and end up here, you're just a click away from this hell...blast off...haha! :D

so what is this blog all about?...we'll see :D..
i'm gonna fill this blog with junks up to the roof...
then yeah!..this blog should end up at the blog's junkyard...as if i care..wahaha..

//absorbing more nicc 'o' tine to ease my frenzy state...wahaha