dok dang mmikir

lepak kat kedai...daripada aku tengok lalat ataupun sembang meraban tak tentu hala, ada baik aku baca sesuatu bagi nampak educated sikit...so aku tangkap The Star kat meja sebelah, pegang tinggi-tinggi bagi semua nampak yang aku tengah baca suratkhabar Jerman...tambah pulak dengan air sirap bandung, memang nampak macam manager bank habis..

penat berlakon baca akhbar Jerman walaupun sepatah haram tak paham, aku tarik Harian Metro pulak...kali ni kena letak atas meja je...malu la kalau orang nampak aku baca akhbar melayu...berita merapu dalam tu aku baca sekali imbas kecuali berita pasal budak genius fizik, kimia...berita tu tak best pun berbanding gambar awek iklan ntah apa-apa dalam tu...tapi cukup menarik untuk menguji minda kawan aku...

"Jak, 20+230 buleh berapa?"
"530..bakpe?" jawab kawan aku kompiden tahap dewa...atas pokok mana dia belajar entah...

memang kanak-kanak genius ni anugerah Tuhan...tapi bila mengenangkan nasib kanak-kanak genius ni, memang kesian...kecik-kecik dah kena paksa belajar itu ini...memang ibubapak budak tu akan cakap dorang tak paksa, tapi budak tu yang minat sangat...tapi benarkah sedemikian rupa?...

kalau betul tak paksa, kenapa nak hantar dia masuk universiti sejak kecik lagi?...dapat ke budak genius ni berkawan secara normal dengan budak-budak U tu?...tak mungkin...akibatnya, budak genius yang macam ni akan membesar secara songsang...

Albert Einstein, tak pergi U pun dari kecik, dapat jugak dia cipta mesin pengisar bawang...Isaac Newton, ponteng sekolah lepak bawah pokok epal, dia berjaya menguasai bidang gunting rambut...Ibnu Sina, belajar potong orang ke sejak dari kecik sampai pandai bedah tenggiling hidup?...al-khawarizmi pulak, duduk sekolah atap je tapi bila besar pandai panjat dinding...Bill Gates, dulu penah kena rotan dengan cikgu GKK sebab bawak patung ultraman masuk kelas...

pokoknya, kenapa nama-nama besar bukanlah budak-budak genius yang masuk U masa kecik atau belajar sekali dengan orang besar dari dia?...kenapa budak-budak genius yang masuk U awal, baik dalam atau luar negara, tidak pergi jauh seperti nama-nama besar tersebut?...jawapannya, sebab dorang membesar bersama kawan sekapal...suasana macam tu penting untuk kanak-kanak...

jadi kalau ada anak genius, biarlah dia duduk sekolah rendah je tak payah hantar pergi U masa kecik...dia dah pandai, lambat laun dia akan lagi pandai dari sekarang...banyak lagi masa...

biar dia merasa panjat pokok rambutan belakang rumah dengan budak sebelah...berendam dalam sungai sampai kecut anggota tertentu...tangkap ikan, main polis sentri, bergayut macam beruk, pukul 4.30 hari rabu tengok ultraman, kena rotan sebab baju sekolah kotor pergi masuk semak cari buah kemunting...nanti bila besar dorang boleh buat roket untuk jemaah haji...mengacukkan kambing dengan pokok kaktus...menguasai bidang kimia astropornology dan sebagainya...

bukan nak biarkan dorang tak tentu pasal...cuma bagi peluang dorang membesar macam fitrah manusia kalau nak tengok kesan baik jangka panjang...pernah ke kita dengar budak genius masuk U dari kecik berjaya menyumbang kepada tamadun manusia?...ini kerana dorang tak ada pengalaman problem solving masa kecik...

macam mana nak menang tikam dengan duit 10sen...berapa batang aiskrim yag diperlukan untuk memberi tenaga selama 20 minit berlari tengah panas...mengapa daya yang optimum dapat memecahkan buah getah lawan tanpa menyakitkan tangan...kenapa aku merapu disini :D...

//rupa-rupanya, The Star bukan akhbar bahasa Jerman tapi suratkhabar Jawa...patut la aku tak paham...hmmm

ada rokak tak dak colak

there was a reading corner at the back of my classroom back in 1907 BC when the head of our tribe was trying to put an end to our tudung oren, batang aiskrim and whatever rituals religiously practised whenever possible..so the brightest of us all, a girl of course, was given the fatal stint...managing the corner...by the time the corner was officially openned, she supposed to be dead...twice...

a teacher had her intelligence buried alive 1 day before the corner ceremonial opening for her sin in writing a blasphemous signboard: "Buang Kasut"...digging her wits out of the grave, she ran to the corner and wrote something on the sign: "Buanglah Kasut"...moments later, the teacher laughed her to death...

later that day, we were forced to believe the sign should be: "Tanggalkan Kasut"...what the hell!!...in Trengganuspeak, "tanggal" means peel off, ...a shoe should be 'taken off' or 'removed' so "Buang kasut" is the right thing to say..we never glue shoes to our feet so that we can peel them off!!...where's the common sense, you megalomaniac outsiders!...haha...
and uh! thanks to the misleading sign, we had to tanggal kasut to practice our batang aiskrim betting game there :D...

okay..i heard a cacophonic voice saying that "buang" means "throw away"...that's ridiculously nonsense...
throw away = tohok...take off/remove = buang...
throw away the rubbish...buang sampah itu...tohok sapoh tu...
take off your shirt...tanggalkan baju anda...pecak baju mung...
take off your shoes...tanggalkan kasut anda...buang kasut mung...
the paint has peeled off...cat itu sudah tertanggal...cak tu ttangga doh...
don't you see how graceful Trengganuspeak is?...

in Terengganuspeak and non-Trengganuspeak alike, kadang means "at times"...or in form of reduplication (i.e: "kadang-kadang") which means "sometimes"..."kadang" is often ellegantly contracted to "dang" in Trengganuspeak...but we Trengganese are 3 steps ahead of you guys...
put at the end of a sentence, it means a strong "but"-"tapi" (a strong contrast/denial/certainty of a matter):
he doesn't eat veggies, but I do - dia dok makang sayo, aku makang dang

used with "tapi" to create a paradox:
i don't eat raw veggies, but i love nasi kerabu - aku dok makang ulang, tapi aku suka nasik khabu dang

paired with gok(jugak), now it means nevertheless:
that veggie tastes awful, but I ate it nevertheless - sayo tu dok sedak lasung, tapi aku makang gok dang

let's see more complex example..
hanyar is "bersepah"(messy)...but when used at the end of a sentence in Trengganuspeak, that's to depict unexpected occation with an irony, and at the same time jestly condemning the audience/object/event/etc...
(let say Samad was full with energy just now, but somehow, he's now tired...so Abu didn't expect that and that's ironic for Samad to feel tired so fast...now Abu is making a jest about that)
Samat: aku dok rok doh ni - aku dah tak larat ni - I'm tired
Abu: dok rok hanyar - aik, dah tak larat?..pelik tu...teruk betul kau ni - tired already?..that's strange...how awful are you

see?...we don't have to add additional sentences to show what we really mean in Trengganuspeak...just a simple hanyar and you're done...furthermore, "teruk betul kau ni" isn't always in jestly mood...but hanyar is...so sometimes, the speaker has to add another "aku gurau je la" to express his/her mood...can't you see how pathetic they are? :D

it's time for Trengganuspeak to replace Standardspeak(bahasa skema :D) as the Malaysian national language...the beauty of Trengganuspeak coupled with its vast vocabulary, advanced grammar rules, clever expression and many other things makes Trengganuspeak reign supreme over any Malaysian dialect even standardspeak...wahaha

//aku gi bbundle petang takdi, kasut docmart takdok hanyar...aku ada beli kasut converse dang...aku dak yoh buang kasut dak pe masuk rumoh mung ning sebak dok kotor lagi tapok dia..hahaha